Here's a little somethin' my Mother sent me via her new friend, the internet. (Welcome, Mom!) I found it funny but the truth in the humor also has me really pondering my diet. I eat maybe a serving each of fruits and veggies a day - ooh! wait! do Fig Newtons count?! I'm carrying twenty extra post-baby pounds. I went a little crazy and gained almost 60 pounds while I was pregnant. I was so happy to not have to look slim for a show (I'm an actor) and I had ever so much fun eating (almost) whatever I wanted. Well, I did! But I've never really gotten back to eating sensibly. I'm round, jiggly and I've had enough!
So, I'll be joining these folks in getting serious about changing that and finally losing the extra baggage. I hope if you need to, that you'll join me! And now that I have thoroughly ruined the mood for a joke, here 'tis!
In the
beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with
broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all
kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at
it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man
found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar
from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And M
an and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in
which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more
weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light,
fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is
good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's
Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those
extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before
the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy
center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still
satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double
cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied,
"Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
(my apologies to anyone who works for an HMO - I have no personal experience with them.) Here's to healthful eating! (sound of me toasting myself with two fig newtons)
That was too funny. I'll be joining in the challenge. I'll stop back by and see how you're doing.
Sandy
Posted by: Sandy | Saturday, May 05, 2007 at 06:11 AM
Thanks, Sandy!
I just visited your beautiful blog and I'm going back for more!
Best of luck to you with this challenge!
Joo
Posted by: Joo | Saturday, May 05, 2007 at 07:30 AM
You said my blog was beautiful. Now you are my friend. (smile)
Sandy
Posted by: Sandy | Saturday, May 05, 2007 at 07:51 AM
That was hilarious. "Why did you have to make ice cream!?!"
I think I may join this too. I have been holding on to the last 5 pounds of pregnancy weight for far too long (not mention the plethora of weight BB- before baby)
Hope you are well~
Check in soon!
Love to your family~
Melissa
Posted by: Mel | Saturday, May 05, 2007 at 07:55 AM
LOL. This is cute!
I am just stopping by to meet all of my fellow "losers" in the May Day Challenge. Nice to "meet" you!
Posted by: Janne | Sunday, May 06, 2007 at 02:57 PM